Add to list of things to do: work on snappy comebacks.

Since we moved to the new place, we have a new morning routine.  Instead of Geoff driving me to the el, or instead of me walking by myself, we all go together.  We put Katie in the stroller and Molly on her leash (Geoff and I walk on our own two feet), and we walk to the el stop together.  When we get there, I tell everyone goodbye, Geoff turns on his iPod, and we go our separate ways.

One day a few weeks ago, while I was in the midst of telling them goodbye, a woman walked past us.  Katie was in a really good mood that day, so when I turned around to wave at them, Katie smiled and laughed and looked very excited.  It was a nice way to go - seeing her smiling face.

When I got on the train, the woman who had walked past us was standing next to me.  "I saw you with your daughter - was that your daughter?" she said. 

I nodded. 

"I remember when my sons were that age, they would scream and cry when I left, but your daughter seemed really happy."

I nodded again and smiled.

"I guess she must be glad to see you go!" she said.

She struck me nearly speechless.  I know I did say something in response, but I don't remember exactly what.  I wish it had been something like, "I know I'll be happy to see you go!" but I know it wasn't. 

Help me out here - let's have some fun!  What else could I have said? 

Comments

"Perhaps your sons were crying b/c they knew you'd come back?"

"I guess I'm lucky that my daughter will be able to stand on her own two feet rather than be the mama's boys you obviously raised."

[gabby]

She did not. Oh my gosh. Did she at least have to good sense to act sheepish?

[Kate]

As someone who has firmly planted her foot in her mouth, in public, and on more than one occasion...I formally apologize for what that woman said to you.

If it were me, I would have said, sweetly,

"No, she just laughs when she sees ugly strangers."

[april]

holy crap! how rude!!

[Betsy]

I think there has to be a way to link this to your new exercise routine. What if you turned around, slapped your own butt, and said "She's just happy because she got a look at her inheritance?"

This story (well except for the rude lady part) made me smile. I used to live in roger's park and would walk to work and most mornings as I approached a certain building a woman would be leaving for work and her husband would stand on their balcony with their daughter and wave goodbye to her and they all looked so happy. Sounds like your daughter is a happy kid and what could be better than that? (well maybe having a happy kid and snappy comebacks)

[Erin]

Two words, my love:

"Fuck" followed by "You."

: )

[oregoncoastgirl]

I'm with Erin on this one. Starts with an 'f' and rhymes with truck off.

[Jessamyn]

Thanks, you guys! These are making me laugh out loud! I have to say, though, that Betsy gets extra credit for suggesting a comeback that includes me slapping myself on the butt. Because no matter what I say to accompany that, that's funny! :)

[TB]

How about "I'm sorry, I thought I just heard you say something incredibly rude. Could you please repeat yourself?"

[john]

how bout: it seems like different children react in different ways, doesn't it?

[moreena]

I'm another who plants her foot in her mouth regularly. So I, too, apologize for this woman, who perhaps, like me on so many occasions, was trying to make a joke that went terribly, dreadfully awry.

So perhaps I would go with the sincere approach and just say, "Ah...but you should see her face when I return home. 'Happy' does not even begin to describe it."

I like the butt-slapping one best, though.

[Mike Harris]

"It's probably because she's secure enough to know I'll be back. My kid's pretty well-adjusted."

"Yeah, well, I'm too much concentrated goodness for her to stand the whole day."

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

"Did you actually mean to say something that awful?"

"Let me guess, you're a compassionate conservative."

Or, the old standby:

"FUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU!"

;-)

[ann]

Yeah, this is the old "damned if you do, damned if you don't routine." If she were crying, you can bet this lady would be saying "how can you stand to leave her like that?" If she's not crying, she has an "attachment disorder."

You may not have come up with the snappy remark this time, but take note of the suggestions, because I can guarantee you'll have another opportunity.

[Jenn]

How about something along the lines of "well she's always been a happy baby. I am so sooorry about your boys. Oh well, I guess you can't help genetics, can you?" I do like the whole "Excuse me but did you just say something incredibly antagonistic and rude?" though. That would probably have made her gobble like a turkey. Comebacks are always best in hindsight though. You didn't lower yourself to her level. Bravo, chica. -J

[April]

I would've said, "Oh, did you notice her father was taking her back home? We're raising a well-adjusted and happy child, who realizes that I go to work, but I don't ABANDON her and never return. She's a smart cookie.", smiled sweetly, and walked away.

[Jen]

Man, if that isn't a mother-drive-by, I don't know what is!

[Cathy]

My suggestion: "MY daughter's well-adjusted."

My husband's suggestion (he had to read the post after I burst out laughing!): "Bite me!"

[Jessamyn]

Just so you know, if you post a hateful anonymous comment here posing as one of my friends, I'll probably delete it. Especially if it's not even funny. But thanks for stopping by!

[Katie]

I get a lot of mileage out of a treacly smile and a cheerful "F--k you very much!" They never know how to react when the words don't match the expression.

But the one that works most consistently for me is returning insulting remarks with stony silence and a fixed, almost Manson-like glare. The effect is great -- nervous babbling, sputtering, and finally sullen muttering as the chucklehead scuttles away. Try it. Fun for the whole family.

P.S. Lovely little girl, your daughter.

[Robin P]

I'm speechless,which is a miracle in itself.
Where do people come up with this crap? Do they wake up every morning thinking,"My life sucks. How can I F**** someone up this morning? Hmmmmm....let's see....here's a mom saying good bye to her child. The child is happily waving good bye. I can screw this up good and make this woman with the well behaved and well adjusted child doubt all her parenting skills. I can make her feel really bad. Maybe bad enough to eat a whole bar of chocolate out of sheer depression. Hee hee....here I go....."
That's just sad. It really is. Just cuz she had wussy boys who couldn't cut the apron strings and cried helplessly,that doesn't mean that you should feel bad because your daughter KNOWS you are coming back AND she is going off with her Daddy!!!!
Lillianna is almost 8 years old and she has NEVER CRIED when I have left her with family or a babysitter. I leave her with good,kind,loving people and she knows I will return. Tell me again how that is a bad thing.
I think I would've said to the woman,"So I assume your boys are still living at home. Do they still cry when you leave? How's their therapy going??"