The movers come tomorrow. Today is our last day in our apartment. We moved in as a single couple with a dog and two cats, having been together for almost five years, but only having been married for about four months. We leave as a family, parents and a child and pets. As I look back, I realize that this has been The Apartment of Katie.
About two months after we moved into this apartment, we started "trying," and within another two months, I was pregnant. We were in this bathroom when I saw the positive line on the first pregnancy test, and the second, and the third, and the fourth. This is the apartment where I ate Filet O'Fishes for days because they were the only thing that sounded good. I painted the living room walls yellow when I was in my first trimester, and I remember one moment, while I was painting, that I realized that these will be the walls where my baby first lives, and I started to cry. This is the place where I had to go throw up in the back yard when Geoff's Dad and his girlfriend were visiting during the beginning of my second trimester, because somebody else was in the bathroom. It was in the small bedroom at this apartment where I was sleeping when I woke up at 2:30 in the morning and felt a sensation like bubbles popping in my belly, and I realized I was feeling the baby move for the first time. It was here where we used to go out into the backyard and sit in the warm twilight evenings. Geoff would cook dinner on the grill and we'd eat dinner with our friends and neighbors, Heather and Arek (who we'll miss probably more than we can anticipate) and then end up talking until well past dark, padding inside for sweaters or more drinks or to go to the bathroom. It was here that my water broke (all over the couch, which partially coincidentally we are leaving behind as junk), and from this apartment that we drove to the hospital. It was here where we returned a couple of days after Katie was born, and this is where my Dad, then my Mom, then Laurie came to help take care of us during the first few weeks of her life. This is where Candace and Erin used to stop by on their way home from work when Katie was just tiny - we would hold her, and she would stare at our black Lack Ikea shelves on the living room wall. I used to lie on the couch in this living room to nurse her, sometimes for what felt like forever, while I was on maternity leave. This home is the place where Katie learned to smile and babble and sit up and roll over and crawl and stand up and walk and run. This is where she said her first word. This is where she learned to climb up onto the couch and chair (by stepping on Geoff's guitar case, usually).
A few days after we came home from the hospital, Geoff and I were reading a baby care book that mentioned that newborns were neither loving nor lovable. (You might remember - I wrote about it in my journal.) The other day, as Katie was laughing and goofing around and climbing all over us and hugging us, Geoff said, "Oh, Katie. You are loving and lovable."
This apartment didn't create a brand new person, of course. But it has been here that a brand new person, one who I happen to love more than anything in the world, was created. We may have another child somewhere else, maybe even in the first home that we own, that we are about to move into. But this is where we lived when we had our very first child. When we remember how it was when we started to learn about how to be parents, and where we started to get to know Katie, our memories will always be here. And because of that, my memories of this place will always sparkle with a little bit of magic.
as much magic as this place holds, the new place will hold even more. your new home will most likely be the first home Katie remembers feeling at home herself. how exciting that will be!!!
take care of you---cant wait for updates from the new place!
april
Posted by: april | June 05, 2005 at 06:13 PM
What a sweet entry! That's so touching. You make me want to cry... and have a baby! heh There is a lot of love in your family, and you're carrying that love and magic to your new place. I'm sure you'll love living in your house. It's so nice to have those sweet memories to look back on, too. I love your writing, Jessamyn!
Posted by: Meg | June 05, 2005 at 06:39 PM
Congratulations, you three. (And pets!) Every place has its memories, and love will make them all.
Posted by: Rob | June 05, 2005 at 08:17 PM
I went back to my hometown this weekend and drove past my old house. We moved there a week before my first birthday. A wave of sadness passed as I looked at my old house - someone else's cars in the driveway. But then, I smiled. This house was as much a part of my family as any of the people that lived in it. It looks so small now, which is strange because then it seemed so huge. I will forever remember and love my home - just as Katie will love her new one. Good luck.
Posted by: allison | June 07, 2005 at 06:46 PM
That was beautiful and it DID make me cry. Congratulations on your new home and your memories to come.
Posted by: Shelley | June 12, 2005 at 09:11 PM
Your wonderful memories from your old home will never fade! Now you get to start fresh as a family in a new place. Hope the move went well and can't wait to hear about the new digs!
Posted by: SAHM | June 15, 2005 at 10:49 AM