fitfather

who needs sleep?

I have a very bad habit that I have picked up, basically since Katie was born.  For pretty much the last nineteen months, I have been going to bed too late, with the full knowledge that I'm going to have to get up before I am ready to get up.  I usually then end up taking a nap later in the day, oftentimes in the morning when Katie naps.  This has gone on long enough that I think I have reprogrammed my body's sleep schedule, and I don't know how to fix it.

About a week ago, Jessie worked from home and let me sleep in until I woke up on my own.  I slept around eight hours and woke up at about 8:30 in the morning - not incredibly late, but much later than the usually 7:00 rise and shine.  I felt rested and energized for the day, and got a lot of stuff done with time left over for reading and TV.  I was tired in the evening and went to bed with Jessie at 10:00 - two and a half hours earlier than my usual time.  I didn't think sleep would be a problem - I felt sleepy and physically exhausted, and I had no trouble getting to sleep.  I woke up at around 3:00 that morning, and didn't doze off again for well over an hour.  When I got up the next day at the usual 7 AM, I wasn't refreshed or invigorated or ready to start the day.  I felt like I usually do in the morning - fuzzy, groggy and resentful for 7 getting here so damned early.

My body seems to think that I only want it to sleep for 6 hours, give or take.  I have done this to myself.  I want to get myself to bed earlier, to not have to take naps five times a week just to get through the day.  I want to have the energy to do all of the things that I want to do during the day.  I want to be as productive as I can be, but I feel perpetually sleep deprived.  I don't want to go to bed early and end up waking up in the middle of the night.  Middle of the night thoughts are awfully lonely.

I am trying to break the cycle.  Last night I got myself to bed at a little after 11:30 - a little later than I should be going to bed (11:00 is my target - that way I can get the proverbial eight hours), but not terribly so.  Certainly better than 12:30.  And this morning, I resisted the very, very strong temptation I had to take a morning nap.  Oh lord, that was hard.  It's definetely programming - I just started to get sleepy at about 10:00.  So I made myself coffee and forced myself to sit down and write some music.  Let's see if I can get to bed at a decent hour tonight.

Swallowing my pride, getting back on that horse, happy birthday to me

So, it’s been over two months since I have written an entry, and in that time I have not succeeded in losing any weight. In fact, I have pretty much bounced back to my starting weight. I’m not sure which is more… humbling? Humiliating? That my weight-loss journey is going to be two steps forward, one step back, or that the step back happened so damn quickly.

It’s easy to understand why I got off track. I was away for a week, for a conference, and eating cafeteria food, plus banquets and such makes smart dietary choices difficult. Furthering the problem, the conference schedule was so packed that I just didn’t have any energy (or really even the time) left to get in my regular workouts, even though the hotel had a small gym. When I got back home, my Bally’s guest membership had lapsed, and we couldn’t afford to add me to Jessie’s membership just yet (fun car repairs!). My arrival home also corresponded to Jessie’s birthday week (yes, we like to stretch out the festivities) which meant much cake, eating out and general merry making. Through all that, the bad eating habits started coming back, and my weight crept back up.

On the plus side, when I did finally get my full-fledged Bally’s membership (about a month ago) I started going religiously, and I am starting to notice that the muscles not covered by fat are getting more toned and defined. The other major plus is that I am still in the weight loss mindset. Through the last two months I have never fully let myself go – weight loss and fitness have a permanent spot in my head now.

I had originally wanted to write this entry last Monday – my twenty-ninth birthday, but well all that birthday merry making was going on and it didn’t happen. Here it is though now, better late than never.

Focus? This entry don't need no stinking focus!

Has this ever happened to you?  It's hot - you're marinating in the humidity, your car is broken, you're trying to decide to do with the stray kitten you took in who is really sweet but you really don't want another pet right now, your toddler has just decided to empty her dresser onto her bedroom floor for the third time today, not to mention all the other crap she's strewn throughout the condo and Baby Bach is repeating for the... 4th?  5th? time that day (and woe to the father who turns it off!) and now that toddler is whining at you because she's really tired but she won't nap, so you just have to head to the kitchen and grab a diet coke and that Almond Joy you bought at the store last night, because right now, you need Need NEED that Almond Joy.  Who doesn't need a little Almond Joy once in awhile, right?

I eat for comfort.  I know what I'm doing, when I'm doing it, but you know what?  When I need that food comfort, I do not care.  Luckily, I don't usually need much eating comfort - this isn't a typical, or usual, thing for me.  What is more dangerous in my experience, is the eating because I'm bored, which since I've started this blog and been so much more concious of my dietary inputs has mostly stopped.

Weigh-in after my workout late last night:  225.  In a little over two weeks of eating right and moving my body more.  I can tell I am on the right track.