fitfather

On exercise

It's surprising to me, but I think I love working out.  I have certainly had a shift in my attitude towards getting out there and exercising.  All the other times (you know, going back years) that I have tried to start and maintain an exercise regimen it always felt like a chore, something that I had to force myself to do.  Now, I am finding myself looking forward to going to the gym.  I love the way my muscles feel after lifting weights for an hour.  That mildly fatigued-but-in-a-good-way feeling tells me that I just did something worthwhile. 

I have realized that lifting weights and working out is one of the most important, and most enjoyable things I can do with my time. 

It is an investment in my future health, sex life, energy level and drive. 

I have realized that it is more important than spending time on the computer. 

I have realized that it is more important that watching another hour of TV. 

I think it is more important than doing housework (Jessie might not agree!). 

It is more important than napping.

At this point, I am working out three times a week, exclusively lifting weights each time.  I stay at the gym for 60-75 minutes each time, and exercise each body part at least once.  I know that I need to start mixing in some cardio work.  My plan is to start taking Katie to the gym's child play area, so I can workout during the day.  Right now I am usually going during the evening, which means that I end up staying up late because I have all this post workout energy.  It would be nice to put that to more productive use during the day, and be able to spend the evenings with Jessie.

I am starting to see some results.  The muscles I have that aren't covered with fat (arms, upper chest, shoulders, legs) are looking larger, more toned and more defined.  I am also lifting more weight and doing more sets for each exercise.  I should take some before pictures.

who needs sleep?

I have a very bad habit that I have picked up, basically since Katie was born.  For pretty much the last nineteen months, I have been going to bed too late, with the full knowledge that I'm going to have to get up before I am ready to get up.  I usually then end up taking a nap later in the day, oftentimes in the morning when Katie naps.  This has gone on long enough that I think I have reprogrammed my body's sleep schedule, and I don't know how to fix it.

About a week ago, Jessie worked from home and let me sleep in until I woke up on my own.  I slept around eight hours and woke up at about 8:30 in the morning - not incredibly late, but much later than the usually 7:00 rise and shine.  I felt rested and energized for the day, and got a lot of stuff done with time left over for reading and TV.  I was tired in the evening and went to bed with Jessie at 10:00 - two and a half hours earlier than my usual time.  I didn't think sleep would be a problem - I felt sleepy and physically exhausted, and I had no trouble getting to sleep.  I woke up at around 3:00 that morning, and didn't doze off again for well over an hour.  When I got up the next day at the usual 7 AM, I wasn't refreshed or invigorated or ready to start the day.  I felt like I usually do in the morning - fuzzy, groggy and resentful for 7 getting here so damned early.

My body seems to think that I only want it to sleep for 6 hours, give or take.  I have done this to myself.  I want to get myself to bed earlier, to not have to take naps five times a week just to get through the day.  I want to have the energy to do all of the things that I want to do during the day.  I want to be as productive as I can be, but I feel perpetually sleep deprived.  I don't want to go to bed early and end up waking up in the middle of the night.  Middle of the night thoughts are awfully lonely.

I am trying to break the cycle.  Last night I got myself to bed at a little after 11:30 - a little later than I should be going to bed (11:00 is my target - that way I can get the proverbial eight hours), but not terribly so.  Certainly better than 12:30.  And this morning, I resisted the very, very strong temptation I had to take a morning nap.  Oh lord, that was hard.  It's definetely programming - I just started to get sleepy at about 10:00.  So I made myself coffee and forced myself to sit down and write some music.  Let's see if I can get to bed at a decent hour tonight.

Swallowing my pride, getting back on that horse, happy birthday to me

So, it’s been over two months since I have written an entry, and in that time I have not succeeded in losing any weight. In fact, I have pretty much bounced back to my starting weight. I’m not sure which is more… humbling? Humiliating? That my weight-loss journey is going to be two steps forward, one step back, or that the step back happened so damn quickly.

It’s easy to understand why I got off track. I was away for a week, for a conference, and eating cafeteria food, plus banquets and such makes smart dietary choices difficult. Furthering the problem, the conference schedule was so packed that I just didn’t have any energy (or really even the time) left to get in my regular workouts, even though the hotel had a small gym. When I got back home, my Bally’s guest membership had lapsed, and we couldn’t afford to add me to Jessie’s membership just yet (fun car repairs!). My arrival home also corresponded to Jessie’s birthday week (yes, we like to stretch out the festivities) which meant much cake, eating out and general merry making. Through all that, the bad eating habits started coming back, and my weight crept back up.

On the plus side, when I did finally get my full-fledged Bally’s membership (about a month ago) I started going religiously, and I am starting to notice that the muscles not covered by fat are getting more toned and defined. The other major plus is that I am still in the weight loss mindset. Through the last two months I have never fully let myself go – weight loss and fitness have a permanent spot in my head now.

I had originally wanted to write this entry last Monday – my twenty-ninth birthday, but well all that birthday merry making was going on and it didn’t happen. Here it is though now, better late than never.