a few final words for now (and Katie is 7!)

Ok, I'll be honest.  I'm no longer really sure whether taking this blog private is what I really want to do.  I think that the judgmental comment from the other day carried a lot more weight, and hurt my feelings a lot more, because it was one of very few recent comments, so I thought (foolishly, I think now) that that person represented a whole lot of people, and maybe even the vast majority of people reading.  However, you very kind people (who like me! you really like me!) who have commented on the last entry are making it seem as if that person was more of an anomaly than a typical reader.  For that I am extremely grateful - and because of that, I've also been questioning my decision.

I do think I am still going to blog privately, at least for now.  If I am going to have even a very small photography business, I don't want to be publishing my very vulnerable types of entries alongside the website for that business (and even if it's not literally alongside it, anybody googling "Jessamyn North" or even just "Jessamyn" wouldn't have to look too long before coming up with both this site and the photography site.  I don't want to make potential photography clients feel like they have to console me about anything bad happening in my life that I've written about online - or feel awkward because they know things about me that they don't feel comfortable bringing up.  Or, let's face it, it's also possible I'd be the one feeling awkward if a client brought up something personal about me, that they'd gleaned from the blog, right in the middle of a photo session.  So I think going private is the right thing to do, at least for now.

I wanted to say a couple more things here, though.  First of all, THANK YOU to all of you who have commented or emailed.  You have helped me at a time when I feel like I can use all the help I can get.  Thank you so much. I have added all of your names to a list, and I expect to be sending out a link and a password to you sometime this week.  (Except!  Erin M. and (bowlegged) Kelly - you didn't leave an email address in your comment!  Please email me or comment again and include your email, so I can email you with the info!) 

Secondly, if you haven't already commented or emailed but would be interested in continuing to read, please don't feel like you have to prove your worthiness as a reader to me - or in fact, to prove anything at all - in order to be included.  If you are willing to comment or email to say you'd like to keep reading, then I'm going to assume that you are not someone who's going to take advantage of that by coming in and then leaving nasty comments.  I'm really not very suspicious by nature, and I really don't want to be.  Everybody gets the benefit of the doubt until they show otherwise, ok? 

Finally, so many of you mentioned that you'd been reading since before or just after my daughter Katie was born.  Today is her 7th birthday. Can you believe it?  She's practically a grown up!  She reads very well these days, and is pretty good with the computer.  I got her a gmail account long ago that so far she doesn't really use, but this morning I thought of something cool.  If you have the time and the inclination, maybe you'd be willing to send a quick email to her to wish her a happy birthday?!  I know she'd love it.  I can't promise she'll respond to them all, especially if a lot of you actually send emails, but I'll at least get her to type up a thank you that I'll post here.  Her email address is kathleen dot north at gmail dot com.  Thank you in advance! 

The top photo of Katie was taken about three weeks ago, and is probably my favorite recent photo of her; definitely one of my all-time favorites of her ever.  The three photos below were all taken yesterday, on her last day of being six years old.

 

Also, if you're interested, for years now I've been putting together a Flickr set of photos of Katie - one photo for every month of her life.  I updated it the other day to go through February 2011, so there are 84 photos for her 84 months.  The set - which you can watch as a slideshow if you'd like (or not) - is here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jessamyn/sets/72157594205839099/.  Looking through the photos, I feel 1) amazed that it's gone by so fast; 2) impressed and proud of who she is; and 3) impressed and proud of myself, for taking the photos.  

Comments

[Unfocused Me]

Jessie & Geoff - ignore the troll. Anyone who needs to spend a Friday night cruising the interwebz just to leave turds on other people's virtual lawns already has a sadder life than you could possibly curse him with. He's probably had a tough week being beaten up at the playground and wants to take it out on someone.

I'd like to keep up with the private blog; you can pull my email off the comment record.

[Colleen]

I'd love to be included too...

[laura]

Gosh, I do remember your posts from when you were pregnant with Katie! I am glad that you are still going to write, and I'd be happy if I continue reading along!

[Nicole C. Brown]

Hi Jessamyn,
Like others above, I found you years ago via Erin's blog and would really like to keep reading. Your writing is beautiful, incredible and very honest. Best wishes to you.

[Maureen Harpring]

Would love to continue reading.

[Eli]

I, too, have been reading since B.K., and I would love to keep reading your blog!

[Stephanie]

Please add me to the list of those who adore your writing, your bracing honesty, your beautiful photos, and your take on life. I'd love to keep reading!

[Anne]

I would love to continue reading, please include me. I began reading your blog before Katie was born and I find your writing inspiring. I look forward to reading about what lies ahead for you...

[Kate]

I'd love to keep reading -- I really enjoy your writing and your photography. I hope that you have a really nice time in London!

[Melissa]

I would enjoy receiving notification of your updates. I have always enjoyed your writing and your photos.

[Jocelyne]

I begen to read your blog before your wedding. I love the way you write and I would love to continue to read you writings.

[Aneets]

How much does time fly- I can't believe she is 7! I started reading when you first became pregnant (as I was thinking about doing the same) and I now have an almost 7 year old too.

I am a long time reader and would love to keep up with how you are doing.

[Vanessa]

Another long-time reader who remembers the days before you got married (I still remember the entry about when you and Geoff met in person. It was so sweet and beautiful). I'd love to keep reading and if it's not too stalker-ish, if you run out of things to do when you and Katie visit London, I can show you my favourite haunts.

[LauraC]

I too would love to keep reading what you'd like to share. I have fallen off the blogging wagon myself, but I still love to read them.

[Jo]

I just found you again so I hate to loose you now.I'm glad you are back. Please add me to your list.

[Suzette]

I have been a very long time follower and would love to be added to the list. I also wish you great success in your photography buisness. I think you are an amazing photographer, and I have always enjoyed viewing your photos. Thanks!!

[Nettie]

Jessamyn,
I was so happy to see you writing more frequently, as I've quietly followed you over the years. I rarely comment on people's blogs because, honestly, I'm not one of those who can make witty comments or add anything of importance to the topic. I'd love to be able to continue reading, if you'd allow.

[trista]

I have also been reading since before Katie was born.

[Britt]

Hi, I'd like to keep reading too. I've been reading since before you got married (in fact, I went to college at Northwestern and I remember on your wedding day walking past the place where you were getting married and smiling to think about it. it doesn't feel like that long ago!) I love reading your writing and hearing about how you and your family are doing.

[Maria Weimann]

Hi Jessamyn- I would really like to continue reading. please add me to your list. Thank you so much!

[Julia]

I too would like to continue reading. This is my first comment on a blog ever and I think this was the first journal I ever read - I've been reading since before you got married. Thank you!

[Erin]

Me as well! I've been reading on and off since before Katie. Years ago I was up for a job at DePaul and faced with the prospect of moving to Chicago on short notice. You were so helpful recommending places to live and information about Chicago--I've never forgotten how kind you were. No surprise that I didn't get the job! I've been in Seattle for 10 years now but I like following your family. Thanks for writing!

[Theresa]

I have stopped by your journal many times over the years. I have always enjoyed your positive and honest viewpoint, and your beautiful photography. Thank you for sharing!

[Paige]

Please included me - I have been reading your blog for a few years now and would like to continue. Thanks !

[Latrelle Ross]

I've been out of the loop for a while. Sorry you had a troll upset you. I've been reading your writing since Diary-X and would love to keep reading. Please add me to the private blog :)