This Chapter

These days I think, fairly often, of how this chapter of my life will fit into the overall trajectory of my life.  Will this be an interlude between mildly boring (or extremely frustrating, by turns) lawyer office jobs?  Will this be the time between my transition from one lawyer job which had become horrible for me to a new lawyer job which is more interesting, with more potential career advancement?  Or --

Well, let me tell you.  There is something that's happened. I have started to hope, again, for a career that I don't merely tolerate, that doesn't just support us financially and give us health insurance, that isn't satisfactory just because the hours aren't bad and the people are pretty nice.  I have started to hope, again, that I might be able to turn at least a part of my working life into something that I love.  What this means, these days, is that I have started to think that maybe I can become a professional photographer. 

I don't know how that's supposed to work.  I have a hard time imagining what my life and my schedule would look like if I were making money as a photographer, and I have a hard time (still, if I'm being honest) imagining that enough people would be willing to pay money for my photography to make any sort of real contribution to our finances.  I don't know how I'd find clients, how I'd get good enough to take pictures that I'd be proud to sell to people (do you know how many of the photos I take are complete trash?), how I'd run the business side of it, how I'd figure out what equipment I needed (and how I'd pay for it). 

But in a way, it doesn't matter.  It doesn't matter, because I will take a bet with you that I will be taking photographs almost every day for the rest of my life, whether I make any money from it or not.  So I have a long time to figure out what equipment to buy (and how to pay for it), to find people who might be interested in owning some of my photographs or paying me to take some photographs for them, to learn how to take better photographs, to figure out what I need to know to have my own little business.  There is no rush.  I can do this.  And realizing that I can do this has been an incredibly empowering realization for me, these past 6 and a half weeks since I've been out of a job.

Due to the generosity of a wonderful friend of mine, I am now taking a photography class, and that's helping with the empowerment, too.  It's very similar to the photography class that I took back in 2001, in that it's a class about the fundamentals of photography, and it starts from the beginning - we are learning about stops, shutter speeds, ISO, aperture, depth of field, how to create or prevent blur, how to change the quality of the available light, how to take portraits, how to adjust and print our photos.  It's 2-3 hours every Monday night, and 3 hours of lab on Sunday night, and not only am I learning a lot already - and not only is it giving me specific assignment-related reasons to take photos every week - but it also means two nights a week, for six or seven weeks (the lab is only 6 weeks long, but the class is 7), when I leave the house, by myself, while Geoff stays home and puts the girls to bed.  And that is also a wonderful thing.

Other recent wonderful and/or empowering things:

• About two weeks ago, while I was on antibiotics for pneumonia and no longer getting up to nurse Annabel when she woke up at night (Geoff went to her with a bottle), Annabel started sleeping through the night, and I mean ALL the way through the night, from 6 or 7 at night until 7 or 7:30 the next morning.  She hasn't stopped.  (And we didn't have to take any action to make it happen. Halleluia.  I shudder when I remember the suckage of going through the sleep training that we resorted to with Katie.)
• Katie's learning to read, or pre-learning to read.  I don't know exactly where she falls along the continuum, but she spells out every sign we pass in the car and most words she sees on the tv or computer, and lately when we're heading somewhere in the car we play a game where we identify and spell one letter words, then two letter words, then three letter words, et cetera.  She can actually sound out short words now, too, which is a connection she wasn't making in her head until quite recently.
• I decided to play a little Guitar Hero III the other day, and I beat the game on medium in about 24 hours.  (I had played it before, last summer when we were in Halifax, but hadn't beaten it.)
• Watching our instant Netflix queue on our tv.  AWE. SOME.
• Katie and Annabel love each other.  Katie says that she loves Annabel more than the sea and the world and "outer space," and Annabel, who is now a very speedy crawler, would follow Katie anywhere. 
• Geoff started a women's choir that I'm part of.  We rehearse once a week, and other than the fact that I usually have to deal with the craziness of our two daughters during rehearsals, it's fun and beautiful and great, and something else that I'm good at. 
• I lost my job last month and haven't found a new one.  But I'm ok.  I'm more than ok - I'm happy.

I don't know how this chapter will end, or what the next chapter will be, exactly, but I do believe that the next chapter will be at least as good as the ones before it.  Who knows?  It might even be the very best chapter yet. 

Comments

[Martha-Lynn C.]

Jessamyn, I think that striking out to become a professional photographer is a wonderful idea. I love that you're OK with it being a sort of gradual thing-- that kind of patience is admirable. Also, your pictures totally ROCK, so suffer no doubt on that end of things!

[Anelie]

You can totally make it work. I have discovered, by my own modest venture, that the internet has made it possible for anyone to sell anything that they can make/do. And your photos are awesome, so that's got you ahead already. ;)

Also, enjoy this chapter. Isn't it great how life can keep it interesting? Life can be a lot of things (good, horrible, sad, happy), but at least it is rarely boring.

[Joanne]

I'm very happy for you, there are so many great things going on - I have to say what a sicko I am, though, because the thing that makes me the happiest for you is that sweet baby sleeping all night! My priorities are *screwy*! :)

[charlotte]

SUPER CONGRATS to your happiness, Jessie!

Speaking from my own experience, the photography thing will take off with a little marketing:

1. Join a photography club in Chicago--that way you get to network and pick up gigs that other photographers have to pass on.
2. Submit your photos to as many fairs as possible to get some exposure.
3. Specialize in something--like weddings, mother&child/ maternity, whatever. Then print up a business card at moo.com, write up a flier and send them to people in that line of business (like wedding planners OR doulas/ midwives).

Wishing you all the best. I've been wanting you write you a long mushy email about how much your writing throughout the years has helped me decide when to have my little daughter ... but I couldn't find an email addy on your blog.

[Meg]

I'm happy to read your latest, Jessamyn! I've always loved your writing, for years. And I think you're an awesome photographer and will totally make that work. It's inspiring to hear you talk about it, because there are a few entrepreneurial things I've thought of doing too, and it's always exciting to read about someone venturing out into a new field. It reminds us all of possibilities for ourselves, too.

I'm happy to hear things are going so well for you and your family. Reading about how Katie and Annabel love each other is just too sweet for words. I look forward to having my own children (hopefully soon) and hope I can express myself in my writing about it as well as you always have!

[JayneLM]

It's an old but true saying: When one door closes, another one opens. It sounds as though you're starting to see the scenery through that second door and it's looking good. I'm really happy for you.

[lisa]

Pursuing what you love is a good idea. Even if it does not bring in enough money to pay ALL the bills, freelance work is something you can easily (well, sort of- if you like a bit of chaos-hee!) do in addition to a day job.

I've been a freelance photographer for 9 years. I went to school and got a BA and MFA in photography, but you don't have to have those degrees to be a photographer- you only have to love photography and have the eye and the drive to succeed.

You have the eye, and the desire to learn, and the love of photography, so really you'd just need to lean a bit about the business side, which you can do by reading books, visiting websites and taking advantage of the local small business organizations. There are many organizations that offer classes either for free or for not too much money about how to run your own business. I've taken advantage of many of these.

The other commenter is right in that you should pick a specialty. I can tell you that at least from my experience, the best ways to make money as a photographer are by shooting weddings & portraits- esp. portraits of kids. As a mom, you'll have a natural knack for that!

In my own experience, I've found that while I respect people who love shooting those subjects, I kind of hate shooting weddings and portraits. What's worked really well for me is that I've learned a few skills related to photography- graphic design and web design, and I get jobs doing that in addition to photography jobs. Another thing I've done in this profession since the very beginning has been teaching classes. If you can learn photography well enough and get some good shooting experience under your belt, and you like helping people learn, teaching photography is a lot of fun and very rewarding. I teach classes through my local community various places.

The freelance life is wonderful, and stressful and rewarding and crazy all at the same time. I make my living working from my home, teaching classes several places, doing graphic design part time for a corporation a few days a week on a contract basis, and working an occasional shift serving cake at a friend's cafe. It's nuts, but I can't even tell you how much I love it!

You can do it too! Being unemployed will give you the chance to study up and do some research- that's how I got my start. I quit a job that I'd worked for several years that I didn't really like and that was becoming soul sucking. It's been a great ride ever since!

[Jenn Hains]

I think it's fantastic that you are considering becoming a professional photographer. Your work is great - I've been a follower of your blog for many years, but don't often comment (if ever? not sure..). Anyway, I say go for your dreams! Anything is possible...

You made the comment about how many dozens of bad photos you've taken...but I am quite certain that the great artists, painters, photographers of all time had lots of crappy stuff (which is all relative, of course) we've never seen. We just see the good stuff.

I love this chapter FOR you. Best! - Jenn

[Eliza]

I absolutely believe that you can achieve this dream. Beyond the shadow of a doubt. For what that's worth.

[Trish]

I have followed your blog for many years. A few eerie things:

My name is Trish

I'm from Canada (toronto, but currently live in Calgary)

My son was born May 26, 2001 and my daughter March 8th, 2004 (anything look familiar?)

My hobbies are photography and singing

I'm sure there's more, but those are the highlights for now.

I've often thought you should be a professional photographer. When I switched careers, I did LOADS of 'informational interviews' - either pre arranged, or simple cold call. If people like their jobs, they are happy to talk about them with others. It's a great way to promote optimism and esteem of oneself and get answers to all those nagging questions.

Could I please be put on your friends and family FLICKR list? I miss seeing the kids. True, I'm a stranger, but I'm not so strange. LOL