what I've done

What I did in the last days of employment:

• Visited with Geoff's Mom, Trish, who visited us from Halifax for a week.  
• Celebrated Katie's 5th birthday with family and friends.
• Got a breadmaking lesson from Trish (we plan to make it again ourselves maybe next week, when we've eaten most of the bread we made, and before we forget what we learned).
• Made mozzarrella cheese.  Twice.  It was yummy!  And takes less than an hour!
• Watched Annabel learn how to pull herself up to standing, and applauded.  And watched her learn how to clap (and make sound!).
• On the second to last day of work (the Friday before last), I got called about scheduling an interview for a real live job! 
• Emailed a bunch of my favorite women about starting a book club.
• Re-joined Bally's for the low, low cost of $99 for a year.
• Had Heather & Arek over for potluck dinner; had Erin & Scott over for potluck dinner; went to Candace & Brian's to hang out for an afternoon.
• Changed my settings on people photos in my flickrstream to friends & family only; if you're a reader of the blog and you'd like to keep seeing photos of Katie & Annabel, leave me a comment and let me know.  I'm not trying to keep YOU out.
• Set up my own gallery at imagekind to sell prints of my photographs.  If any of you are interested in purchasing some prints, now would be a wonderful time for you to do that!  Also, I'm going to be adding a bunch of photos to the gallery this week, and if there are some particular photos that I've taken over the years that you'd like me to add to the gallery, please let me know.  (Also, if you do buy anything, will you drop me a line and let me know it was you?  Imagekind tells me there were purchases, but not by whom.  I'd love to know if it's someone coming from here.)

What I've done since being unemployed:

• Filed for unemployment benefits.
• Filed for health insurance with Illinois' state program, the one that has a goal of making sure that every child in Illinois has health insurance, and which also sometimes provides health insurance for the caretakers of each child.  In other words, we could all four get health insurance through this program.  Thank you, crazy former governor G-Rod.  
• Gone downtown to meet with a legal staffing agency about possibly temporary or permanent employment, only to have the 10 year old Beetle break down in the middle of traffic.  I waited for a tow truck for about two hours, and didn't make it home for another hour and a half.  My lowest moment was while I waited for the tow truck in the foyer of my old law school, which I graduated from almost 11 years ago (but for which I still owe over $100K in student loans), cold (it was in the 30's and I was dressed for an interview) and hungry (I hadn't eaten a real breakfast, and had planned to get lunch after the meeting) and unemployed, waiting for a tow truck to come and drag away from 10 year old piece of shit car.  I spent quite a few minutes feeling extremely sorry for myself.
• Gone out to the burbs for the interview for the Real Live Job, and found myself really hoping I get it.  I talked with the interviewer (who would be my supervisor) for almost two hours.  The job is one performing the same function I've been performing for the last 7.5 years - claims counsel for a title insurance company - so I know I am well-qualified, and it sounds like this company would be good to work for.
• Started (and completed) the 1000 piece Charles Wysocki puzzle that's been sitting on the shelf for at least six months.
• Walked with the whole family to Katie's preschool to drop her off.  Twice. 
• Made chocolate chip cookies with Katie.
• Gone to Katie's parent-teacher conference.
• Done homework with Katie.
• Nursed Annabel during the middle of the day.  On a WEEK DAY.
• Looked online for job opportunities.  Daily.
• Participated in a session to record our church choir's performance of Benjamin Britten's A Ceremony of Carols. 
• Gone to Bally's to work out.  Once (today). 
• Made lots of plans for this week and next week.  (Paint the kitchen white; move Katie into our bedroom with Annabel and move us into her then-former room; paint Katie's old bedroom something other than pink; make cheesecake from scratch; make macaroni and cheese from scratch; work out at least every other day; make ricotta cheese; re-make our "wish list" of items we can't afford yet; color my hair; make bread again; print and frame and hang at least one or two pictures of Annabel in our home.)
• Come up with a plan to make a set of letters for Annabel to go on the wall in her (and Katie's, soon) bedroom.  Katie has a set of letters (spelling Kathleen) on tiny canvases I painted before she was born, as well as a set of letters spelling Katie that I bought from Land of Nod.  For Annabel, I'm going to embark on a photo project, with one photo per letter.  We'll see how it goes, but I'm excited about the idea. 

This is the point when I should sum all of this up with some insightful thoughts about unemployment, or employment, or life, or parenthood, or whatever.  So far, I don't really have any.  I can say that it doesn't feel as different as I thought it would, so far, maybe in part because we had 2 months to prepare for it, and probably also because so far we haven't really come to face to face with our very strict budget that we're going to have if this goes on for very long.  It feels more like the times when I was on maternity leave than anything else.  That's my only frame of reference, really, for a time when I wasn't going to work but wasn't traveling on vacation and also wasn't making much (or any) money and therefore couldn't really do a whole lot except for spend time with my family.  (It has occurred to me, more than once, that if I lived somewhere else, like Canada, for instance, I might very well still be on maternity leave from  Annabel's birth.) 

I can also say that there is not as much time in each day as it seems like there should be, considering that Geoff used to do this stay-at-home parent thing without me every week day, and now there are two of us.  But the child care and the housework seem to expand exponentially to fill all of the time we have, while Katie's preschool schedule (from 11:30 to 2:30) cuts Mondays through Thursdays in half,  Annabel's nap schedule splices the day into even more pieces, and Geoff's work schedule uses up 3 or 4 or even 5 afternoons or nights a week, plus Sunday morning.  There is not as much down time as I thought there would be, which is, I guess, both good and bad.  I am by no means bored. 

I can also say that something like this brings out amazing kindness and generosity in a lot of people.  I have gotten two gift cards from two different readers - people who, I don't think, had ever written me before, who just decided that they would like to do something nice for me and my family.  Upon receipt of each of these gift offers, I cried a little bit.  It's good to be in a place where you are reminded, first hand, that not only do we all have friends and family in our corner, but that also, sometimes, people we barely know (or don't know at all) are pulling for us.  It's nice to remember that sometimes people are kind for no real reason beyond the fact that they are kind people.  (Thank you, Sharon and Stephanie, especially.)  I am also grateful for all of the supportive emails and thoughts that have been sent my way by friends and family and readers during the past few months.  I am lucky.

And that's all I have to say about that, for now, during the second week of unemployment.  I'm doing all right.  We're doing all right. 

Comments

[Laura]

Jessie,

I was one of the folks who made a (in my case, small) purchase from your imagekind gallery. This time around I opted to buy photo cards -- which are really wonderful quality, by the way.

Laura

[Connie]

Good luck! I will definitely purchase some next week on payday!

[Lisa]

I would love to be added to your flickr....I enjoy your pictures! I work for a title company....scary times!!!

[Shawna]

You have been busy uploading to ImageKind - I hadn't looked in a couple of days and suddenly there was all this awesome stuff! How's that working for you? I just made my first photography sale on Etsy yesterday (yippee!!!!)and have been keeping an interested eye on the ImageKind thing too.

Canada's the way to go for those in their childbearing years, seriously. I'm coming up on 10 months into my mat leave and still don't run out for another two and a half months, and, with my particular employer, I'm at 93% of my salary for the whole time and have the option of a further 5 years of unpaid "care and nurturing" leave and they'll hold a job for me. You're husband's a Canuck, right? Come on home! The winters suck but I can't imagine they're that much better in Chicago...

[Laura]

You sound like you're dealing with this adversity SO well. Crossing my fingers for you on the suburban job! I am also a law school grad with over $100K in student loans, and every month I wonder if I made the right choice, so I sympathize. I did read about some Facebook group advocating forgiveness of student loans as part of any stimulus package, but as fabulous an idea as I think that is, I'm sure it doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell of going beyond Facebook. Sigh...

[Charlotte]

You are amazing! Yes, keep making those accomplishment lists--just because you can't check off your work tasks any more at the moment, that doesn't mean that you're not getting stuff done. It's therapeutic.

I'd been looking for your email addy to mail you privately, but nyah, here's what I wanted to say: I really really appreciate your blog. Over the 5 or so years that I've read it, you've made me see that having a child and working full time can be done. As a result of your encouraging narratives (and obviously some biological, uh, "thing" with my husband), I have a beautiful babygirl myself now, and during my pregnancy, I've thought about you so often. I wouldn't have had the courage to do that without folks like you blogging.

Sending a big hug. And yeah, add me to your flickrstream, please.

[Jessamyn North]

Laura - thank you so much for buying something! Every time I see a purchase, it makes me happy. And thanks Connie - please don't feel like you have to buy anything, but if you do, know that I will really appreciate it.

Lisa - I can add you on flickr, but I have no idea from your comment what your flickr name is - could you leave me a comment on flickr, or send me a flickrmail? Then I can add you.

Thanks, Shawna! Yeah, I went out on a limb and paid $7.99 so that I could add more than 24 photos in one gallery, then I added a bunch more stuff. Imagekind doesn't pay you until you've earned $50, so I haven't gotten paid yet. Heh. I have faith that SOMEday, I will get my $50 check! As far as moving to Canada, we're not opposed to the idea at all, but I don't think we'll do it in order to take advantage of the maternity leave. I'll be 39 in August, and our financial situation is (obviously) not very secure, and we already have two (and while I like the idea of a third, I think we're probably done with two), and our student loans were borrowed in American dollars, blah blah blah. So yeah. The Canadian winter doesn't worry me, though!

Thanks, Laura! Wow, forgiveness of even a tiny portion of student loan debt would be awesome. Heck, I'd take forgiveness of some of the interest, even! Sorry that you're saddled with a ton of debt, too. I know how much that sucks.

And thank you, Charlotte! That is a lovely comment and sentiment, and it makes me feel good. Thank you for sharing it. (There is a link to my email address on the about page, for future reference.) I'd be happy to add you to flickr, but can you also send me a message on flickr so I know your flickr name? Thanks!

[Kat]

Hello, Jessamyn,

I'm so happy to see you writing more and on Twitter more! That's where I seem to spend most of my time these days, mainly because I'm a freelancer and I use Twitter for professional contacts/networking. My professional username is @thiskat and my blogging username (for the blog I never update anymore--sigh) is @dirttodish.

You will get through this. We were in a similar situation after the dot-bomb (we lived on the equity in our house for a few months) and we came out of it with a healthy humbleness combined with new bravery when it comes to taking risks. When you have a good support net holding you up it's a little easier to do things beyond your comfort zone, just to see what happens. That time made us stronger, more resilient, more inclined to go after what we really want.

Did you know BlogHer is going to be in Chicago again this year? I realize that it's not in the budget, but they have programs for reduced passes. And since you live there you wouldn't have to pay for plane and lodging. Since I started reading you in 2000 (at my desk at my old agency job, and then at my own little company) I always thougth you were one of the best online writers. I'd love to see you get feedback and support from the amazing network of women in BlogHer and perhaps even see how you could market your writing and photography more. It's work, for sure, but there are many people who've made good careers from their blogs. Kyran Pittman is one. I met her there in 2007. She had a blog with great writing, a loyal following and wasn't trying to be a rock star, just a great writer. Now she's a contributing editor at Good Housekeeping and has the cover story almost every month.

Also, I'd just love to meet you in person. :) If you're not interested in the conference perhaps we can get together for dinner in July.

[Janet]

Hi Jess!

I'd like to be included to see your flickr photos please.

[LauraC]

I sent you a flickr mail about adding, if that's ok.